2020. A year in Rear-view

2020 had sucked. Seriously sucked. Tremendously sucked.

It had been one of the hardest years I have ever experienced in my lifetime. It was a year of lost opportunities, emotional detachments and high levels (very HIGH levels) of anxiety.

2020 will now and forever be a number that triggers a lot of feelings in a lot of people. Myself included.

Hey, world. It’s been a minute. I feel like every time I write a post, those words are included. However, this time, it has seriously been a minute. A. Hot. Minute.

What can I say?

2020 happened.

I have been less motivated than I have ever been before. I’ve been sad, tired, and angry. I’ve just been over it all. I don’t think my mental health has ever been challenged as much as it has been this past year.

And I’m not sure how long it will be until I have fully recovered. If ever.

2020 was a year that forced me (and a lot of us), to stay inside my house, worrying and waiting. Waiting until it was safe enough to go see and talk to people. But each time I had to go out, whether to the supermarket or elsewhere, I had been crippled by the thought of possibly contracting this virus and passing it on to my daughter or husband. Or even passing it on to my family or even strangers who might be more susceptible to more severe complications.

Now, I don’t think I even remember how to socialize with people other than friends and/or family.

2020 said what plans?

I had so many plans for this year. So many opportunities to look forward to. Travelling, the dream job. The works. And then Poof. They all just disappeared. It was like they never even existed.

February 2020, was the start date for a job I wouldn’t have even dreamed of. I was supposed to be workinng for a subset of the Walt Disney Company known as Disney English in China. My family and I were beyond excited. We had packed up everything and sold the rest and had even given out landlord notice. The only thing that had been left for us to do was to purchase our tickets.

To put this into perspective, this job offer had come at a time where I was at a really low point in my life. Where l had been questioning whether or not my life would ever have meaning or purpose. Therefore, to have gotten this job, for me, meant validation. I felt as if I may have a purpose after all. To have thought that out of all the applicants, I was one of the persons chosen to represent Disney. Like what?

However, as it turns out, COVID-19 had other plans. It had gotten to a point where it had made things too dangerous to travel. We (myself, my family and employer) began to think that maybe, just maybe March would be my travel month. That by then, all risks would have been eliminated and everything would have been back to normal. Or at least, normal enough. How silly we had been.

Then 2020 threw its knock out punch

Our date was then pushed to August 2020. By then, we were ABSOLUTELY sure things would have calmed down enough for us to travel. So, even though I was disappointed with the delays, I was still very much excited. I was excited about the fact that my family and I would be travelling to a whole new country. I was excited about all the things that would accompany this new adventure. Disney rides, plays and everything else that would come with the Asian culture and the perks of working for Disney. This was supposed to change our lives forever.

And then in July 2020, a month before our travel date, the company announced that they would be closing their physical locations throughout China, permanently.

Devasted doesn’t even come close to describing how I felt.

So whats the moral of the story?

Ah, I don’t know. That 2020 has been a really sh*t show?

But there’s still hope because here’s the thing, sh*t, as gross as it is and as much as we don’t want to deal with it, it can be used to help grow the most beautiful flowers or the tastiest fruits. And even produce the cleanest water. Go figure.

The good that came out of 2020

But even with all the bad. And there HAVE been ALOT of bad. It would be quite unappreciative of me to not also acknowledge the good that has come out of it.

The qarantines, the lock-downs and all the stay at home orders, if nothing else, provided us all with an opportunity to truly reflect.

And reflect we did. This reflection extended to the whole world, especially when George Floyd , Breonna Taylor. Aumet Abrey and so, so many other black lives were taken unnecessarily.. #SayTheirNames. Our reflections turned into a WORLD-WIDE MOVEMENT. A movement that seemed to unite the whole world.

Moreover, the world got to heal, even for just a little bit.

What did 2020 give me?

On a more personal level, I was afforded the opportunity to do a lot of introspection. How can I make my life and the lives of my family members better? How can I make more impact? Have I been making any impact at all?

I’ve found out a lot of things about myself. However, the major thing being that I had been limiting myself far too much for far too long. I have been trying other things that have worked for people and wondered why they haven’t been working for me. And they haven’t worked for me for one simple reason. They weren’t meant for me.

My purpose lies elsewhere and I hope that I’ve now found it. However, if I haven’t, I’ll try again. And again. And again.

Moreover, I got to reflect on the importance of family and friends. I realized just how much I had underappreciated the importance/value of a hug. I was also reminded of how much we need to appreciate each other while we still can. Life is way too short to do otherwise.

And now that the year has ended, I believe that we’ve garneered enough strength to see through as well as face the years ahead.

I know, we’d all like to burn 2020 and pretend like it never happened. However, it seems that 2020 has left some.permanent residue on our minds, hands, heart…And lungs.

It’s been hard to breathe this past year, but I can honestly say that without this pandemic, I might’ve been the same person I was 2 years ago. Because of this pandemic, new realisations have been formed and old things rediscovered.

Hopes/Plans for 2021?

To be honest, I’m just taking it all as it comes. No special plans, no new year’s resolution. I’m just appreciating life and ensuring that I live it the best way that I can.

Now that a week has now gone by into the new year of 2021, to be honest, I’m not impressed. But I get it. 2020 has left a lot of mess for 2021 to clean up. So give it some time I guess?

Support a friend in 2021

We’d all appreciate some support in some form or another, especially in these trying times. If a friend has ventured into something, support them in any way that you can. Remember, support doesn’t necessarily mean buying an item or spending money, support can come in other ways. Whether it is by liking, commenting or sharing something a friend has created.

If you’d like to continue supporting me-your friend (*wink, wink*). You can share, like or comment on my posts . All are appreciated. Also, If you want to support my rediscovered art, follow my IG:@_recuperatedart or buy me a coffee: ko-fi.com/recuperatedart